(Above: Left - Kate, my girlfriend, Middle - Calliope, our furbaby, Right - Kate, me, blogger)

I'm a gay housewife in chronic pain who loves Jesus, ladies, and music. I do me rather unapologetically. Deal, gurl.


Spanking, Discipline, Torture

My very progressive parents spanked me as a child, and I honestly think that I am a better person because of it.

Discipline was and is necessary to raise a child. You can successfully bring up a well-adjusted child without spanking them, but I think that spanking helps drive home the “you cannot do this" point in a way that timeouts and losses of privileges cannot.

One spank, open-handed on my butt, and it was over. I think it was just one, at least. Regardless, I definitely deserved it.

What Adrian Peterson did to his son was not discipline, it was torture. I learned from Keith Olbermann’s show tonight that Adrian repeatedly hit the boy with a switch, which produced cuts on the boy’s legs, ankles, thighs, buttocks, and scrotum. Defensive wounds on the child’s hands prove that he tried to stop his professional football player father “from hitting him with a small tree branch.”

The four-year-old also said that Adrian “stuffed leaves in his mouth” while hitting him, and that he was afraid if he told what happened that Adrian would punch him in the face.

Keep in mind that Adrian’s two-year-old son died seven months ago because of child abuse at the hands of the child’s mother’s boyfriend, which happened because the man was “disciplining” the toddler.

What happened in these cases is not discipline though; it is torture. Discipline instructs a child on how to be a better human being, while torture breaks down a child, wounding their body for weeks and their soul for a life time. Torture brings grown men to tears when they see a stranger of a certain height/weight/race at the grocery store because it conjures up images of their abusers, or why certain people refuse to wear belts.

This kind of torture is physical and psychological and, thank God, illegal in America. It does not matter if “that was the way you were brought up” or if it’s “regional” or “cultural;” it is wrong. We have decided, as a culture, I grant sometimes at a painfully slow pace, that some things that were once considered the norm to not be acceptable anymore. Cultures change and evolve, and in this instance I believe it is for the better.

Don’t torture your children. Period.

[I know the legal definition for what happened is abuse, but I think the word torture is a better one for this situation.]

Fifth Crapiversary

August 29 was the five year anniversary of being disowned by Pastor Kay Hooper, and you know what I did?

I enjoyed my excellent life with my awesome girlfriend and her new friends from UNC at a lovely little burger shack in Chapel Hill. I had an amazing burger, some Pepsi, and an ice cream sandwich with vanilla ice cream and amaretto/almond cookies. All of the above was divine.

Because really, the best way to spend a Crapiversary is to be profoundly happy. True joy is the ultimate push back to people who have been unspeakably, repeatedly, completely awful to you. Their horrendous behavior is because they are totally miserable and don’t know how to deal with things in a way that isn’t destructive. As a consequence they are supremely unhappy and occasionally (or not-so-occasionally) inflict their dysfunction onto others who were naive enough to trust them.

Joy doesn’t come fast, either. The damage caused does not repair in a day or a week or a year. It takes a lot of crying and processing to get to joy again. But because you’re not awful and dysfunctional and miserable with your existence, you do arrive there. And it is so lovely.

I’ve only been to a Quaker meeting once, but I still find this tumblr absolutely hilarious and spot-on.

I’ve only been to a Quaker meeting once, but I still find this tumblr absolutely hilarious and spot-on.

Things I’ve Cooked Lately (alfredo + pork chops + patooter soup)

Hey there toomblurr. It’s that time again! The time when my hip hurts and I can’t sleep so I write a Tumblr post at 3 a.m.because eh why not.

Here’s what I’ve been making lately:

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On Men



Three years working in Hunts Point with addicts. Three years listening to countless women recount sexual abuse by male relatives. Three years of watching men prowl the streets looking to pay women to suck their dicks. Sometimes getting their dick sucked isn’t enough and they beat the…

I get my menno-rage out with these movies.

And vidya games. shhh don’t tell. >.> <.<

I’m sure that’s not very Mennonite but we all gotta do what we all gotta do.

(Source: jaimeshanice)


i honestly feel 100% better after watching this

This is the best thing I’ve seen on the internet all week.

(Source: 12818-tomhanks)

A Post About Things That I Don’t Like

I’ve never read a single line from 50 Shades but I am still gonna rip on it because this is my tumblr and I do what I want. DIZZLE WIT IT.

Let us never, ever, ever, ever, ever forget that 50 Shades of Grey is fanfiction for Twilight with the names changed.

Yes, that Twilight. The one with sparkly vampires.

From Wikipedia:

The Fifty Shades trilogy was developed from a Twilight fan fiction series originally titled Master of the Universe and published episodically on fan-fiction websites under the pen name “Snowqueen’s Icedragon”. The piece featured characters named after Stephenie Meyer's characters in TwilightEdward Cullen and Bella Swan. After comments concerning the sexual nature of the material, James removed the story from the fan-fiction websites and published it on her own website, FiftyShades.com. Later she rewrote Master of the Universe as an original piece, with the principal characters renamed Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele and removed it from her website before publication. Meyer commented on the series, saying “that’s really not my genre, not my thing… Good on her—she’s doing well. That’s great!”

If you even remotely like 50 Shades I am so judgemental of you. You fall into the category of people who sell weight loss wraps/are members of multi-level marketing schemes and enjoy Joel Osteen. My respect scrapes the bottom of the diving pool for you.

The blatant naivete that is required to enjoy 50 Shades/MLM/Osteen hurts my soul. One must willfully shut their eyes and “lalala” loudly and incessantly to themselves in order to ignore the mountain of things that have absurdly higher quality (whether they be smut, marketing/sales practices and products, or theology) all around and everywhere for the history of the entire world.

Also, and I cannot stress this enough, 50 Shades of Grey was written as a Twilight fanfic. Yes, this does matter, and yes, this does make it ever worse than it already is because of its “heritage.”

It’s like realizing that a single can of Vemma - for their “distributors” (aka “money hogs” who are willingly and happily bled out monthly) - costs 3 dollars per can. That’s the “bulk” price. That’s as cheap as you can get it from the company. Seriously.

I think I’m going to write out a whole post detailing why exactly Vemma (and MLMs in general) are so freaking terrible and grind my gears beyond belief.

Moment of silence for America.

one pan dinner - baguette with butter

After the super intense chicken recipe I thought I’d give you an infinitely simpler food project that is filling and delicious and hella cheap.

Baguette Cooke in a Pan

- 1/4 baguette, sliced in half

- Softened butter

- Whatever else you want to put on the baguette (basically infinite choices)

Cut a hunk off your baguette (I like 1/4) and then slice that in half. Use a sharp knife like a steak knife for this job - serrated knives work great.

I got this baguette from the bakery section of Target.

Butter each piece of bread so that every part of the bread is covered. The butter doesn’t need to be thick (unless you want it that way), but every bit of exposed baguette should be buttered.

Put an empty pan on medium heat and let it warm up for 30 seconds to a minute; put your hand over it to check the temperature, and once you feel warmth coming off then it’s good to go.

It doesn’t matter what kind or size as long as the pan is big enough to hold however many baguette pieces you’re cooking. If you have a grill pan this would be the perfect excuse to use it; you’ll get some nice grill marks on your bread.

Place your baguettes buttered side down and let them cook. Occasionally move/shake the pan so they don’t stick to the bottom or get burnt on the edges (unless you like that). The reason for using medium heat is to prevent the edges from burning. It will happen if you use high heat. I promise because I did that tonight. The baguettes were fine I was just impatient and stupid.

You can cook your baguette however long or short you want. If you want it to be crispy it’s going to take a few minutes. If you just want it warm then it’ll take much less time, naturally. Check the bottom every 45 seconds by using a spatula to peek underneath (I used a spoon tonight) or so and pull them out of them pan when they’re done to your liking.

At this point you can eat the bread as-is or put something on top. I put raspberry jam on mine for dinner, but the possibilities are endless.

You could go the sweet route with jams and jellies, Nutella, cookie butter, nut butters, etc., or you could go the savory route with roasted or fresh tomatoes/vegetables, cheese, salt and pepper, meat, pesto (omg pesto would be so good), spices from your cupboard, etc.

Again, if you think it sounds like it would be good on a toasted baguette, chances are it will be good.


Edit: you know what would be amazing? HONEY. omg I’m doing that next time for suuuuure.